Since then, I’ve learned that growing up is not a race. Everyone develops at their own unique pace. At that time I would feel as if I was “never good enough” when comparing myself to other authors. No good can ever come out of comparison, you can only learn from the best and be inspired. I’ve developed my own unique voice since then, and realized that the golden ray of truth inside of me was ALWAYS enough, even if I lacked the experience and wisdom and consciousness that I have now. I want to inspire others to realize the same thing, of the infinite value of their own soul in God’s eyes, even if it doesn’t meet the standards of the intellectual/academic community. I don’t think there is ever an end to self-improvement. Once you reach a certain level of self-transcendence, it’s up to you to help others transcend, and that’s kind of where I’m at, and where I’m heading.
Thank you so much, that really means a lot! Hahaha I wrote that on one of my first days of my 1 semester of college, almost exactly 3 years ago. Looking back, It was inspired by the feeling of being a “small fish in a big pond,” and was fueled by caffeine, adderall, mania, and loneliness. I’ve grown a lot since then, and that’s what it was about- growth. TBC…
Today during lunch I was outside at one of the picnic tables having a veggie burrito. Then a group of filmmakers came up and surrounded me. I asked if I was in their way, and they said no, they were just setting up. The universe was kind of throwing it my face. I feel more and more like a battery in the system just sitting at a desk for 40 hours. And it tires my voice out, trying to be patient, and having to speak slow as fuck for people who don’t speak English properly. We need a goddamn universal language. Everything is like my diary. I have no need for secrets anymore. Once you love yourself perfectly when you’re alone, it’s just a waste of energy to hide who you are. I want to change the way we think of right and wrong. I think guilt is a useless emotion put in place by society to manipulate people, and if everyone was less serious about themselves and everything, it would just disappear. Children and animals don’t feel shame. Then again, it is necessary to have a moral compass. The golden rule should be the basic foundation of every education. Well, whatever. Anything becomes pretty much hysterical if you think about it for long enough.
Perhaps Love - John Denver (cover)
Growing up, my mom would make CDs of Opera music and play them at dinner. She would also blast John Denver at breakfast.
So I made a video of me singing ‘Perhaps Love’ in my car. I’m no Placido Domingo, but I hope it clears away some negativity.
Inspired by my sister and Love:)